April 5, 2023
Episode 0: Introduction - Welcome to our lives
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Welcome to our podcast, where we explore the intersections of BDSM, LGBT, Polyamory, and the adult industry. Our show is dedicated to creating a safe and inclusive space for open and honest conversations about these complex and often misunderstood topics.
Join us as we as we share our experiences and insights on everything from kink and fetish play to navigating relationships in non-monogamous settings. We'll also delve into the world of the adult industry, examining the business and social aspects of this often-maligned profession.
Our aim is to demystify and destigmatize these topics by providing an informative and entertaining platform for listeners to learn and engage with these diverse communities. Whether you're a seasoned veteran or just curious about these topics, our podcast has something for everyone.
In this episode get to know our hosts Nikki Sapphire, Jenny Bangz, and Jay Weiler, their plans for the podcast and how all of this started.
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Welcome to the Unnatural to Some podcast. I'm Jay Wheeler with I'm Jenny Bangs and Nikki
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Sapphire. Hi everybody. One year in the making. We're finally here. We're finally recording
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content. It's been a while. I know. I remember you texting me about it. Yeah, but it takes
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a while to kind of get set up kind of thinking about how this is going to go and the layout
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and oh yeah it's crazy because I can remember when this was just a conversation like we
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should do like a podcast for all of you just now joining us because it's episode one the
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something menace what is it episode one what oh yeah so one the phantom menace yeah this
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is episode one the phantom menace wait we're not doing star wars well let's get back to
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like the subject here which is what our podcast is all about no tell him Jay tell him about
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the podcast ignore the lightsabers I know we want to talk about lightsabers what do
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we talk about here we're gonna talk about everything LGBT polyamory BDSM a little quick
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backstory I am coming from like the BDSM community that's what I'm passionate about me and Jenny
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come you know we're obviously going to be giving more of the LGBT side of perspective
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considering you know we're transgender and we're both you know in the sex work community
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we're in the adult entertainment industry and we're polyamorous we're in a relationship
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with another person third person and yeah that's pretty cool so we can provide input
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on that but we're not like Jay was saying we're not experts when it comes to these things
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so we're just learning with our audience it's kind of what this podcast is about is learning
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with our audience yeah that's a really good point kind of when we were talking about this
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over a year ago it was hey we're not experts we want to kind of dive deeper into this we
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want to share the knowledge that we learn as we learn it also inform people about like
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current events coming out because we feel like there's not a place for that when it
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comes to our communities there's not a place for big news or any other major topics to
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be talked or discussed about and that brings us on to possibly bring other guests on here
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yeah so that's something that we plan on doing we plan on having guests and what we want
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is to you know host guests that know more about things than we do so maybe get some
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professionals on here that actually know more than us and you know we could learn together
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all of us we have the ability to professionally put information out there so we thought why
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not you know there's not a lot of information out there so also they just want to hear our
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opinions right we have opinions we have opinions too I thought we're I thought we're porn stars
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we those have opinions we're human I swear we're allowed to have opinions definitely
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um that was like kind of kind of my point was I do believe your your feedback your opinions
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are important to be honest listening to podcasts like searching for BDSM podcasts stuff like
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that stuff that I'm interested in I don't know of a podcast out there that has everything
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like all these topics like about the adult industry about polyamory about BDSM about
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LGBT having the ability to bring guests on covering heavy educational topics and also
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just keeping up to date with like recent recent things in the media that as they come up like
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I honestly do not know if any of you do know please share people are probably wondering
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who are you who's who's this man with us who is who is Jay yeah tell us a little bit about
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yourself Jay Wheeler who are we all that's the question yeah no so I'm I'm Jay Wheeler
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I guess I come from the BDSM side of things you guess I guess yeah I knew I knew I was
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different very early on in my life it's something that I kind of like struggled with kind of
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accepting trying to come to terms with that what does that mean what does that look like
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thinking that I'm the only one I went to therapy trying to fix who I was luckily I got a good
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therapist they instead of trying to fix me they kind of reinforced that I should accept
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who I am which is very rare I feel like in the south oh yeah so I definitely got lucky
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there it's something that has I truly believe has always been with me and there's there's
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a lot of theories on why people are quote-unquote into BDSM plan on covering that much later
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and other episodes and series and that's I think that's part of how I came to where I
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am today like really embracing who I am because I did started diving into a lot of research
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for for probably about like the last 15 years I've been doing a lot of research into BDSM
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learning more about it both on like the psychology level and the more fun levels if you will
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I was trying to explain to some people about BDSM and I feel like I was like throwing all
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this information out them right like oh here's this research here's this and it was very
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overwhelming I wanted something that was more relaxed more natural that I could kind of
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turn them to if you will and you were in the podcast I I've I was looking at a few podcasts
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and I just feel like they they didn't super explain everything I wanted them to they didn't
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go into like enough detail so kind of have the idea hey fuck it let's how can we fix
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that right let's create a podcast and I'm not an expert by any means but kind of the
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thought process was as I'm doing this research if I had a podcast it would force me to do
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more research force me to share that research with everyone and I really I really like that
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aspect of sharing and then I started looking like I didn't want it just to be about BDSM
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I didn't want it just to be me talking the entire time so I thought who out there could
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I create a podcast with obviously Jenny and Nikki were the first two that popped into
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my head why is that just because I knew I knew your your backgrounds I I know what you
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guys do for a living as well as in all my research of podcasts and other media out there
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there's not a podcast to my knowledge that covers BDSM LGBT polyamory and the adult industry
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and to me that's that's what we bring to the table we this is not something that we step
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into like on a Saturday you know oh Saturday we're polyamory or Saturday we're kinky Saturday
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we're we're this is our life well yeah and we film on Sunday so that wouldn't make any
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sense right so just sharing sharing our lives sharing our story sharing the research that
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we're doing I feel like if there's this one person out there that can benefit from that
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to me the podcast is a success yeah that's kind of what we talked about too whenever
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you initially texted me about it I mean I think the idea was at first we're gonna do
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some kind of other project with a car or something like that but then it slowly turned from that
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to hey I'm really passionate about this is coming from Jay it was that he was talking
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about how passionate he was about BDSM and explaining his background with it and just
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kind of revealed to me you know that he's been you know doing a lot of research on it
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and been dealing with these things for a long time and it felt like I could relate to him
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on that and I felt very passionate about trying to start this podcast because like Jay was
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saying there's not very many voices to be heard especially when it comes BDSM community
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the LGBT community the adult sex work community which gets a lot of bad social stigmatism
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and we just want to bring our own opinions there and just say hey we have an opinion
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we're gonna be heard you know it's just just to show people that we're human we're not
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objects no we're not objects I think that's like that's also something I wanted to show
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right so in the adult industry you guys still have voices you guys have opinions you're
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not objects oh yeah so like this something that really drove home to I was watching a
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presentation and it was actually about a burlesque performer and she was talking about how like
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the stigmatism of burlesque like you know people look upon it very negatively right
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and she's like no this is this is art this is culture this is part of who I am and that's
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important and I think everything right like even even like tattoos have been a huge like
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taboo in our society for so long but this is art this is culture this is part of who
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people are yeah it's a we're changing as a society and people need to be more aware of
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the people out there that are changing and being more open and expressing themselves
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whether it be through sexuality or gender or just even just to close you where because
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this is supposed yeah and they should know it's okay yeah exactly it's normal it's America
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we're we're here to be free and express ourselves the way we want to it's okay anyway I mean
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obviously the places that where they prosecute not safe to do it there but it should be okay
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anywhere yeah well to go back to how Jay and I were discussing things we actually started
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off as friends in high school right so it really surprises me to think about from high
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school years making stupid skateboarding videos with a camcorder that recorded on cassettes
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to now we're set up for like this professional looking podcast talking about more serious
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things and trying to be more passionate about the things that we feel are important in life
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cassettes yeah we recorded it was like a Sony handycam and it was handy yeah it was bad
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it was a bad camera I was good for its time it's good for his time mid-2000 so yeah okay
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yeah I cassettes interesting interesting okay yep I'm just surprised that you had a handycam
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yeah I uh yeah and I've been out here in Washington for a while been out here for like about four
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years and the only reason why I came out here was because of my significant other Nikki
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and all of you do know Nikki from other sources but yeah I met her in um I mean Florida the
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Gulf Coast of Mexico sunshine state the sunshine I was just looking around on Tinder and I
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was looking for friends I promise friends it was her friends friends really good friends
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now uh-huh and uh I was just like I kind of like swiped left on a lot of people and I
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just saw her she was really friendly she had a personal profile so I swiped right and she
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would not leave me alone until I hung out with her and basically it was game over from
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there yeah it's been a long journey with us too and even before that I was like I can
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relate to you and I'm sure Nikki can too is there's always been a feeling of being different
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and whether that was centered around being trans or just you know the way that I express
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my love and you know like having multiple people to love I'm not sure but I definitely
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felt different as far as connecting to like people that were like oh yeah I just want
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to have a wife and kids and my white picket fence and my really nice house and then they're
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gonna have grandchildren they're gonna take care of me like doing the same American thing
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didn't seem normal to me I didn't see that as my future I think I think like a big part
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is if you if you try to be who people want you to be you will never be happy if that's
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my advice to anyone out there and I I feel like I definitely fell into that right I I
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went to college I got the engineering degree I bought a house I got married but there was
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always something missing the fence the white picket yeah oh yeah that's what it was no
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is a lot of like restraints leather stuff and whips right yeah and like on a real note
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like those things are all nice but it's for for me it's not necessarily about the sex
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it's it's about the communication I love right right it's I want to be able to trust
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somebody a hundred percent to be vulnerable with somebody and maybe it's because I'm a
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male into today's society but I do honestly believe that as a male we are conditioned
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to be kind of like these strong dominant figures I am a submissive by the way but you know
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to to be able to like open up and be vulnerable to kind of show emotions and to to trust somebody
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to kind of take over that that to me I'm gonna have like more connections with somebody like
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if somebody can take the time to learn what no one else knows about me right like yes
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like I want to learn what makes what makes Jay tick I want him to like trust me completely
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that to me is more valuable than anything else in life I mean that's kind of the connection
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I feel with Jenny you know I feel like I can trust her with just about anything yeah I
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think our relationship has has developed into a very very trusting space where we can be
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our complete selves around each other those things they say about marriage I'm sure it's
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true on your ends that's where like everything's pretty at first and then you're just like you
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just let each other you know see each other for who you are which is kind of sloppy can
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be sloppy sometimes sloppy yeah I mean I don't like how when I first met you I was really
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dressed nice and everything I don't when I wake up I'm not instantly looking like a million
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dollars I look like you know I just woke up I mean I think you look good I look rough
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sometimes and she loves me through that I feel like that's not you know being together
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with a lot with someone for a long time does that to you but yeah you want to tell them
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why we came from Florida to Washington because it was a really good opportunity for me I
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mean so I was in the military at the time I mean it's really simple I was in the military
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at the time and I got orders to come here I was offered a position here in Washington
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I was like well I don't want to I want to stay in Florida which is kind of what I was
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on the fence of doing was getting out you know while I was in Florida and I just didn't
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really like the climate there both you know temperature wise and people people wise so
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when I was offered that I was like hell yeah let's just go to Washington I'll just do the
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rest of my time there and get out and stay here stay here in Washington far far away
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from the other side of the US did you actually like transition in the military I did actually
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I did while I was there I was in a special forces group that's actually really cool I
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myself am not a an SF soldier but I was support people I was a journalist you're part of this
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you're part of the team I was running around with a camera accounts being you know you
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know extra with my camera running around did you also have a gun with a camera or I mean
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not not in my day-to-day job no I didn't some question I only shot with my camera most of
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the time except with her camera shot with her camera not her gun now just kidding you
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I was just joking you are definitely I've seen your work in in your milk your career
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well ex career I mean I still have a film career kind of sort of journalistic career
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that's sort of you know yes interesting how I'm still working on my craft just it's more
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naked it's a lot more naked how you've able to use your professional career in the military
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to show enhance this podcast and also the content that we create we create yeah it looks
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okay in here yeah it looks good it's amazing what was your job in the military specifically
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I was a broadcast journalist I'm they've named renamed the terminology I'm not sure what
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it's called podcasters now I mean there are some people in the military that are trying
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to do podcasts oh really oh yeah my last unit tried to do that awkward yeah you can only
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talk about certain like when you're because you're a broadcast journalist you can only
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talk about certain things like some things you can't even mention right like well I mean
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in the government it's more of like what are we selling well and it's it's either trying
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to get people to join or selling the idea that what we're doing isn't bad we promise
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we're trying to do something good you know do you think it's a hard to transition in
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the military because you know oh I wouldn't have no experience with transitioning in the
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south is hard enough I can't imagine being in the military in the south doing that uh
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I mean I'll be honest I had amazing leadership at the time that kind of you know we had we
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had Trump at the time and he was very very vocal on the internet about things and I remember
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being pulled in to the office by my first sergeant and he was just like fuck anybody
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that says anything to you you grab me immediately and I'll kick their ass and I was like okay
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I love you thank you that's amazing so he he was um very supportive very supportive
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I had uh most people that I you know talked to that were like close to me in that environment
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were were supportive never got like any like crazy people to like try to like insult you
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in public or yell at you and berate you because of their religious beliefs or anything like
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that not not where I was uh keeping in mind I was either at a function you know covering
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something and when I wasn't shooting something for video it was kind of slow there because
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you know it's an sf unit there's not a lot of stuff that we do that's releasable so it's
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it's more like community um bringing um outside organizations in and unfortunately like covering
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memorials you know for when things like that happen unfortunately so I didn't cover a lot
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I wasn't out being recognized a lot when I was in Florida I kind of like worked not in
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a closet but I worked on other things that weren't putting me in the center of attention
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so I think that's probably why I had an easier time during my transitions because I was kind
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of hidden away and by the time I got to my new unit in Washington you know I was I was
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years into my transition as far as I understood I was not really recognized for a while we'll
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talk more about that later um but here I am we're in Washington now and it sounds like
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the military is not so bad to transition it depends it depends on where you are I've had
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friends that were in infantry units that said it was it was horrible oh you know I've had
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friends that were in signal units and they said it was awful I've had friends that were
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in the air force that had horrible experiences on the other side of the I've had friends
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that had really great experience it just really depends on your command climate yeah is your
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is your commander a piece of shit is your first sergeant piece of shit and you're probably
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not going to be supported because of their bias if they have one so I'm just glad we're
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out here now I remember when we first moved out here your the your first boss was like
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super cool and oh yeah your first and only boss right she's she was really supportive
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of her isn't my only boss really well I mean like your oh you mean here yeah yeah here
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she was she's my direct supervisor yeah it seemed like like I know you because whenever
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we were together in Florida you didn't really have that many issues with like um with uh
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other soldiers or anything you may you may have had one issue with like a higher up officer
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that I remember talking about but ever since we came out here you can tell like it's kind
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of different like like there's a lot of people that are supportive of any um anyone no matter
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what their gender is what their sexuality is doesn't matter what you look like they're
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just they just want to connect with people you know and it's been great I love Washington
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same I'm I'm very happy here I plan on staying I'm sorry if you don't want me here definitely
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in the same way a lot better than Florida yeah which kind of kind of sucks because before
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I moved I saw so many people move away for the same exact reasons and if everyone that's
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like us that are very open-minded and we kind of leave Florida to escape Florida will never
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change yeah at the same time it's just so tiring to be it is and I know we're not the
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only ones I see all of those other Florida license plates on the road out here like I
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know we're not the only people that moved out here there's a lot there's a lot of people
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moving out from Florida oh yeah I point them out every single time to Nicky I'm like you
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see that that's a Florida license plate she does it's it doesn't matter if it's five in
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a row in a parking I'm like another Floridian yeah cuz they're they're all their way here
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there it's a lot of I know I think there's another person that went to our school was
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a couple years younger than us and great and she moved out here too and it's just like
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everyone's like once they realize like the south isn't for them they're like let's go
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as far away from it as I can yeah every single time anytime she sees Florida license plate
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there it is there it is I gotta not it's there I got you know I think it's funny so yeah
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that's a little bit of stuff about our podcast and us where can they follow us where can
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they support us I know you're talking about possibly setting up a patreon we don't have
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that finalized right now and this is not something that is necessary at all but if you're trying
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to support our podcast at the beginning Jay yeah you can follow us on Twitter Instagram
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we'll include the links obviously yes links down below right here links down below right
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where are we gonna put the links up we'll put them below the video I could put one like
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right there and then like right there yeah okay we those links everywhere links everywhere
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pretty much all social media that life Twitter Instagram oh we have an unnatural to some
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felt like we do perfect I don't know who created it I wonder it was me oh I was like I was
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like wait I didn't create it I was like well that's gonna be a problem yeah our our handle
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is a natural to some we got kind of lucky on the name it was not taken anywhere you
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can also follow our patreon we are hammering out the patreon details currently what we
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are looking at is for a dollar not only do you get our thanks but you also get a link
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to our feedback form where you can actually if we talk about something that you do not
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like you can kind of critique us if you want to recommend an episode or a topic you can
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do that and if you just want to generally ask us a question this doesn't guarantee that
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we are going to cover those topics or answer those questions but it kind of gives us a
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way to look at the feedback from our audience what do you like what do you not like and
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somewhat weeds out like the internet trolls right so if you want our attention so that's
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the one dollar tier we do have a discord server and so right now the first the first hundred
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people into the discord server will just kind of be locked in for life for I think that's
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reasonable that's fair yeah yeah we we want we want to kind of have discussion I would
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feel horrible for someone to pay for a discord server and there's just no one there just
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crickets so yeah what's that sound like just like that just like that can we just like
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have that on loop in the discord until people join just have like wow there really are crickets
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in here yeah so first first hundred people you're locked in for free after that probably
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five dollars a month to get into the discord server will include links down below once
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that's kind of finalized or up here over there just just click on her face just my face they'll
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have a bunch of links on it and then there we're still trying to finalize everything
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we're thinking about doing a book club that will kind of alternate between different books
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some books that we're covering and episodes and maybe have group discussions with those
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books as well.
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Y'all want me to read?
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Yes definitely.
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Jay Wheeler will personally read paragraphs to you for bedtime stories.
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I'm just kidding.
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Can you please read?
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Can you please please read?
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Although if you want that to happen dollar suggestions remember.
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Someone someone did okay someone every single time points out how they really love listening
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to my voice and they would pay for me to read them a book until they fell asleep so that's
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that's the inside joke there.
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But we do so for instance we are we're working on our first series oh yeah first research
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series William Marston there is a movie out there.
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The Wonder Women.
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Yes he's the inventor or the creator sorry the creator of Wonder Woman however he lived
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a very interesting life of being in the BDSM kind of side of things being polyamory he
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invented the lie detector he had multiple degrees from Harvard he established the disk
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theory I could go on and on.
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He was a huge supporter of female rights.
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Correct he was he was a huge supporter of female rights that actually shaped the whole
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image of Wonder Woman.
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It's a very interesting story some of you might have seen the movie that came out a
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few years ago they got some stuff right got some stuff wrong but the story itself is very
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interesting and fascinating this guy lived a hundred years ago and he did not care a
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hundred years ago he was holding press releases where he flat out said like the female race
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is going to be supreme and everyone should kind of bow down to women.
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And we're gonna dive heavily into detail about that.
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So we're gonna dive heavily in into that but with that research we are we are reading multiple
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books. That's something that I kind of want to like involve our viewers a lot more into
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so as we kind of go through and read books if you want to be involved with the the book
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club kind of get kind of more one-on-one attention with us be involved in our research have discussions
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with us about the content that we're reading you there'll be a patreon eventually there'll
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be a patreon tier for that you'll get access to a separate discord channel and yeah we'll
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go through that together.
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We'll have group discussions about what we're reading maybe even you get a sneak peek at
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what we're about to discuss or something we might be reading something and being like
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this we're gonna discuss this in a future episode go ahead and read the book and you'll
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be informed about what we're discussing and then you can put your own opinion with the
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dollar feedback be like hey I think what you're talking about was completely wrong that was
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that was not right and I mean it's it's plethora of options because we want to involve like
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we were saying before we want to involve you in our education in our education and further
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educate others as well.
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Right right.
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And also when something that I've kind of realized when researching William Marston
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is there's so much information we know we are not going to cover everything.
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So reading the book you're going to get the full the full story all the details something
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that we can't even cover in multiple episodes of a podcast.
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Yeah I was when we were talking about covering the subject I kind of you know did a Google
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search and I was like oh gosh there's a lot here there's a lot here.
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It was a little intimidating I watched the movie first got inspired started going down
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the rabbit hole it was a little intimidating because of how much there is out there on
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this guy.
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However I thought it was a great first topic.
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Oh yeah.
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And since EDSM Polly.
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And he kind of like laid out the foundation for it.
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I'm really excited to talk about it.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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And it's the first I think from what I know one of the first people in the public eye
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that everyone knew that he was in a Polly relationship of some sort.
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And it's a great starting point for.
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Well not everyone but for us.
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Unfortunately they.
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So he actually hit it.
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He hit it for a while.
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He tried to hide it.
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I believe that his his friends and co-workers kind of suspected but even the children.
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So they.
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Because he had a wife and then a girlfriend on the side.
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Even the children didn't know like who who was whose mother.
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Oh.
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Until much later in life.
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It's a we will go.
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Oh yeah.
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To it.
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It's a very it's a whole thing.
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It's a whole thing.
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But a great starting point for us especially since you know I'm kind of new to learning
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about BDSM.
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I'm.
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Yes both of us.
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Yeah I'm very for the longest time I considered myself pretty vanilla.
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So I've been getting my feet wet.
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And I I think that this was kind of a good introduction for me.
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Oh so this is what it's about.
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Oh OK.
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Got it.
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Yeah I think the.
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I think William Marsden has a lot to relate to us as far as the group.
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Yeah as a whole.
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So if you're interested in hearing about those subjects.
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We those will be coming out very soon.
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We're gonna do a series on that.
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I think we're we're planning on a few episodes on on Billy right.
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I think.
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Do you call him Billy.
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Willie Willie.
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William.
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I'll just call him.
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I mean we have it we have a few episodes we're planning on releasing with that right.
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That's gonna come out in almost like a series.
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Yes.
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It it really depends on how much dialogue back and forth we have how much discussion
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but as of right now it looks like it's gonna be two or three episodes.
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Perfect.
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Awesome.
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Very nice.
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Yeah you can take a look at those soon.
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We'll be including links to all our social media as far as a natural system goes and
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like Jay was telling you we have the Patreon tiers we're working on them at the moment.
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By the time you view this video it'll probably be established.
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Yeah yeah yeah yeah and we'll be even more professional.
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Yeah.
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Whoo.
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So professional professional.
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But thanks for joining us tonight and we'll talk to you soon about William Marston.
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Thanks for stopping by.
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Stay kinky.
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Welcome to the Unnatural to Some podcast. I'm Jay Wheeler with I'm Jenny Bangs and Nikki
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Sapphire. Hi everybody. One year in the making. We're finally here. We're finally recording
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content. It's been a while. I know. I remember you texting me about it. Yeah, but it takes
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a while to kind of get set up kind of thinking about how this is going to go and the layout
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and oh yeah it's crazy because I can remember when this was just a conversation like we
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should do like a podcast for all of you just now joining us because it's episode one the
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something menace what is it episode one what oh yeah so one the phantom menace yeah this
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is episode one the phantom menace wait we're not doing star wars well let's get back to
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like the subject here which is what our podcast is all about no tell him Jay tell him about
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the podcast ignore the lightsabers I know we want to talk about lightsabers what do
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we talk about here we're gonna talk about everything LGBT polyamory BDSM a little quick
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backstory I am coming from like the BDSM community that's what I'm passionate about me and Jenny
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come you know we're obviously going to be giving more of the LGBT side of perspective
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considering you know we're transgender and we're both you know in the sex work community
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we're in the adult entertainment industry and we're polyamorous we're in a relationship
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with another person third person and yeah that's pretty cool so we can provide input
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on that but we're not like Jay was saying we're not experts when it comes to these things
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so we're just learning with our audience it's kind of what this podcast is about is learning
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with our audience yeah that's a really good point kind of when we were talking about this
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over a year ago it was hey we're not experts we want to kind of dive deeper into this we
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want to share the knowledge that we learn as we learn it also inform people about like
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current events coming out because we feel like there's not a place for that when it
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comes to our communities there's not a place for big news or any other major topics to
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be talked or discussed about and that brings us on to possibly bring other guests on here
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yeah so that's something that we plan on doing we plan on having guests and what we want
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is to you know host guests that know more about things than we do so maybe get some
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professionals on here that actually know more than us and you know we could learn together
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all of us we have the ability to professionally put information out there so we thought why
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not you know there's not a lot of information out there so also they just want to hear our
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opinions right we have opinions we have opinions too I thought we're I thought we're porn stars
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we those have opinions we're human I swear we're allowed to have opinions definitely
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um that was like kind of kind of my point was I do believe your your feedback your opinions
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are important to be honest listening to podcasts like searching for BDSM podcasts stuff like
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that stuff that I'm interested in I don't know of a podcast out there that has everything
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like all these topics like about the adult industry about polyamory about BDSM about
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LGBT having the ability to bring guests on covering heavy educational topics and also
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just keeping up to date with like recent recent things in the media that as they come up like
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I honestly do not know if any of you do know please share people are probably wondering
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who are you who's who's this man with us who is who is Jay yeah tell us a little bit about
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yourself Jay Wheeler who are we all that's the question yeah no so I'm I'm Jay Wheeler
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I guess I come from the BDSM side of things you guess I guess yeah I knew I knew I was
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different very early on in my life it's something that I kind of like struggled with kind of
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accepting trying to come to terms with that what does that mean what does that look like
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thinking that I'm the only one I went to therapy trying to fix who I was luckily I got a good
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therapist they instead of trying to fix me they kind of reinforced that I should accept
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who I am which is very rare I feel like in the south oh yeah so I definitely got lucky
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there it's something that has I truly believe has always been with me and there's there's
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a lot of theories on why people are quote-unquote into BDSM plan on covering that much later
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and other episodes and series and that's I think that's part of how I came to where I
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am today like really embracing who I am because I did started diving into a lot of research
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for for probably about like the last 15 years I've been doing a lot of research into BDSM
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learning more about it both on like the psychology level and the more fun levels if you will
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I was trying to explain to some people about BDSM and I feel like I was like throwing all
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this information out them right like oh here's this research here's this and it was very
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overwhelming I wanted something that was more relaxed more natural that I could kind of
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turn them to if you will and you were in the podcast I I've I was looking at a few podcasts
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and I just feel like they they didn't super explain everything I wanted them to they didn't
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go into like enough detail so kind of have the idea hey fuck it let's how can we fix
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that right let's create a podcast and I'm not an expert by any means but kind of the
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thought process was as I'm doing this research if I had a podcast it would force me to do
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more research force me to share that research with everyone and I really I really like that
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aspect of sharing and then I started looking like I didn't want it just to be about BDSM
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I didn't want it just to be me talking the entire time so I thought who out there could
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I create a podcast with obviously Jenny and Nikki were the first two that popped into
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my head why is that just because I knew I knew your your backgrounds I I know what you
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guys do for a living as well as in all my research of podcasts and other media out there
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there's not a podcast to my knowledge that covers BDSM LGBT polyamory and the adult industry
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and to me that's that's what we bring to the table we this is not something that we step
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into like on a Saturday you know oh Saturday we're polyamory or Saturday we're kinky Saturday
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we're we're this is our life well yeah and we film on Sunday so that wouldn't make any
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sense right so just sharing sharing our lives sharing our story sharing the research that
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we're doing I feel like if there's this one person out there that can benefit from that
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to me the podcast is a success yeah that's kind of what we talked about too whenever
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you initially texted me about it I mean I think the idea was at first we're gonna do
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some kind of other project with a car or something like that but then it slowly turned from that
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to hey I'm really passionate about this is coming from Jay it was that he was talking
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about how passionate he was about BDSM and explaining his background with it and just
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kind of revealed to me you know that he's been you know doing a lot of research on it
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and been dealing with these things for a long time and it felt like I could relate to him
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on that and I felt very passionate about trying to start this podcast because like Jay was
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saying there's not very many voices to be heard especially when it comes BDSM community
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the LGBT community the adult sex work community which gets a lot of bad social stigmatism
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and we just want to bring our own opinions there and just say hey we have an opinion
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we're gonna be heard you know it's just just to show people that we're human we're not
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objects no we're not objects I think that's like that's also something I wanted to show
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right so in the adult industry you guys still have voices you guys have opinions you're
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not objects oh yeah so like this something that really drove home to I was watching a
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presentation and it was actually about a burlesque performer and she was talking about how like
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the stigmatism of burlesque like you know people look upon it very negatively right
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and she's like no this is this is art this is culture this is part of who I am and that's
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important and I think everything right like even even like tattoos have been a huge like
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taboo in our society for so long but this is art this is culture this is part of who
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people are yeah it's a we're changing as a society and people need to be more aware of
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the people out there that are changing and being more open and expressing themselves
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whether it be through sexuality or gender or just even just to close you where because
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this is supposed yeah and they should know it's okay yeah exactly it's normal it's America
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we're we're here to be free and express ourselves the way we want to it's okay anyway I mean
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obviously the places that where they prosecute not safe to do it there but it should be okay
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anywhere yeah well to go back to how Jay and I were discussing things we actually started
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off as friends in high school right so it really surprises me to think about from high
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school years making stupid skateboarding videos with a camcorder that recorded on cassettes
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to now we're set up for like this professional looking podcast talking about more serious
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things and trying to be more passionate about the things that we feel are important in life
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cassettes yeah we recorded it was like a Sony handycam and it was handy yeah it was bad
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it was a bad camera I was good for its time it's good for his time mid-2000 so yeah okay
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yeah I cassettes interesting interesting okay yep I'm just surprised that you had a handycam
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yeah I uh yeah and I've been out here in Washington for a while been out here for like about four
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years and the only reason why I came out here was because of my significant other Nikki
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and all of you do know Nikki from other sources but yeah I met her in um I mean Florida the
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Gulf Coast of Mexico sunshine state the sunshine I was just looking around on Tinder and I
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was looking for friends I promise friends it was her friends friends really good friends
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now uh-huh and uh I was just like I kind of like swiped left on a lot of people and I
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just saw her she was really friendly she had a personal profile so I swiped right and she
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would not leave me alone until I hung out with her and basically it was game over from
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there yeah it's been a long journey with us too and even before that I was like I can
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relate to you and I'm sure Nikki can too is there's always been a feeling of being different
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and whether that was centered around being trans or just you know the way that I express
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my love and you know like having multiple people to love I'm not sure but I definitely
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felt different as far as connecting to like people that were like oh yeah I just want
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to have a wife and kids and my white picket fence and my really nice house and then they're
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gonna have grandchildren they're gonna take care of me like doing the same American thing
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didn't seem normal to me I didn't see that as my future I think I think like a big part
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is if you if you try to be who people want you to be you will never be happy if that's
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my advice to anyone out there and I I feel like I definitely fell into that right I I
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went to college I got the engineering degree I bought a house I got married but there was
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always something missing the fence the white picket yeah oh yeah that's what it was no
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is a lot of like restraints leather stuff and whips right yeah and like on a real note
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like those things are all nice but it's for for me it's not necessarily about the sex
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it's it's about the communication I love right right it's I want to be able to trust
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somebody a hundred percent to be vulnerable with somebody and maybe it's because I'm a
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male into today's society but I do honestly believe that as a male we are conditioned
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to be kind of like these strong dominant figures I am a submissive by the way but you know
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to to be able to like open up and be vulnerable to kind of show emotions and to to trust somebody
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to kind of take over that that to me I'm gonna have like more connections with somebody like
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if somebody can take the time to learn what no one else knows about me right like yes
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like I want to learn what makes what makes Jay tick I want him to like trust me completely
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that to me is more valuable than anything else in life I mean that's kind of the connection
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I feel with Jenny you know I feel like I can trust her with just about anything yeah I
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think our relationship has has developed into a very very trusting space where we can be
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our complete selves around each other those things they say about marriage I'm sure it's
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true on your ends that's where like everything's pretty at first and then you're just like you
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just let each other you know see each other for who you are which is kind of sloppy can
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be sloppy sometimes sloppy yeah I mean I don't like how when I first met you I was really
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dressed nice and everything I don't when I wake up I'm not instantly looking like a million
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dollars I look like you know I just woke up I mean I think you look good I look rough
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sometimes and she loves me through that I feel like that's not you know being together
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with a lot with someone for a long time does that to you but yeah you want to tell them
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why we came from Florida to Washington because it was a really good opportunity for me I
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mean so I was in the military at the time I mean it's really simple I was in the military
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at the time and I got orders to come here I was offered a position here in Washington
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I was like well I don't want to I want to stay in Florida which is kind of what I was
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on the fence of doing was getting out you know while I was in Florida and I just didn't
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really like the climate there both you know temperature wise and people people wise so
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when I was offered that I was like hell yeah let's just go to Washington I'll just do the
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rest of my time there and get out and stay here stay here in Washington far far away
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from the other side of the US did you actually like transition in the military I did actually
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I did while I was there I was in a special forces group that's actually really cool I
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myself am not a an SF soldier but I was support people I was a journalist you're part of this
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you're part of the team I was running around with a camera accounts being you know you
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know extra with my camera running around did you also have a gun with a camera or I mean
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not not in my day-to-day job no I didn't some question I only shot with my camera most of
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the time except with her camera shot with her camera not her gun now just kidding you
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I was just joking you are definitely I've seen your work in in your milk your career
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well ex career I mean I still have a film career kind of sort of journalistic career
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that's sort of you know yes interesting how I'm still working on my craft just it's more
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naked it's a lot more naked how you've able to use your professional career in the military
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to show enhance this podcast and also the content that we create we create yeah it looks
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okay in here yeah it looks good it's amazing what was your job in the military specifically
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I was a broadcast journalist I'm they've named renamed the terminology I'm not sure what
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it's called podcasters now I mean there are some people in the military that are trying
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to do podcasts oh really oh yeah my last unit tried to do that awkward yeah you can only
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talk about certain like when you're because you're a broadcast journalist you can only
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talk about certain things like some things you can't even mention right like well I mean
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in the government it's more of like what are we selling well and it's it's either trying
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to get people to join or selling the idea that what we're doing isn't bad we promise
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we're trying to do something good you know do you think it's a hard to transition in
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the military because you know oh I wouldn't have no experience with transitioning in the
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south is hard enough I can't imagine being in the military in the south doing that uh
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I mean I'll be honest I had amazing leadership at the time that kind of you know we had we
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had Trump at the time and he was very very vocal on the internet about things and I remember
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being pulled in to the office by my first sergeant and he was just like fuck anybody
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that says anything to you you grab me immediately and I'll kick their ass and I was like okay
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I love you thank you that's amazing so he he was um very supportive very supportive
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I had uh most people that I you know talked to that were like close to me in that environment
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were were supportive never got like any like crazy people to like try to like insult you
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in public or yell at you and berate you because of their religious beliefs or anything like
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that not not where I was uh keeping in mind I was either at a function you know covering
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something and when I wasn't shooting something for video it was kind of slow there because
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you know it's an sf unit there's not a lot of stuff that we do that's releasable so it's
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it's more like community um bringing um outside organizations in and unfortunately like covering
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memorials you know for when things like that happen unfortunately so I didn't cover a lot
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I wasn't out being recognized a lot when I was in Florida I kind of like worked not in
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a closet but I worked on other things that weren't putting me in the center of attention
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so I think that's probably why I had an easier time during my transitions because I was kind
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of hidden away and by the time I got to my new unit in Washington you know I was I was
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years into my transition as far as I understood I was not really recognized for a while we'll
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talk more about that later um but here I am we're in Washington now and it sounds like
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the military is not so bad to transition it depends it depends on where you are I've had
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friends that were in infantry units that said it was it was horrible oh you know I've had
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friends that were in signal units and they said it was awful I've had friends that were
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in the air force that had horrible experiences on the other side of the I've had friends
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that had really great experience it just really depends on your command climate yeah is your
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is your commander a piece of shit is your first sergeant piece of shit and you're probably
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not going to be supported because of their bias if they have one so I'm just glad we're
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out here now I remember when we first moved out here your the your first boss was like
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super cool and oh yeah your first and only boss right she's she was really supportive
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of her isn't my only boss really well I mean like your oh you mean here yeah yeah here
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she was she's my direct supervisor yeah it seemed like like I know you because whenever
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we were together in Florida you didn't really have that many issues with like um with uh
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other soldiers or anything you may you may have had one issue with like a higher up officer
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that I remember talking about but ever since we came out here you can tell like it's kind
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of different like like there's a lot of people that are supportive of any um anyone no matter
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what their gender is what their sexuality is doesn't matter what you look like they're
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just they just want to connect with people you know and it's been great I love Washington
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same I'm I'm very happy here I plan on staying I'm sorry if you don't want me here definitely
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in the same way a lot better than Florida yeah which kind of kind of sucks because before
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I moved I saw so many people move away for the same exact reasons and if everyone that's
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like us that are very open-minded and we kind of leave Florida to escape Florida will never
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change yeah at the same time it's just so tiring to be it is and I know we're not the
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only ones I see all of those other Florida license plates on the road out here like I
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know we're not the only people that moved out here there's a lot there's a lot of people
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moving out from Florida oh yeah I point them out every single time to Nicky I'm like you
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see that that's a Florida license plate she does it's it doesn't matter if it's five in
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a row in a parking I'm like another Floridian yeah cuz they're they're all their way here
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there it's a lot of I know I think there's another person that went to our school was
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a couple years younger than us and great and she moved out here too and it's just like
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everyone's like once they realize like the south isn't for them they're like let's go
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as far away from it as I can yeah every single time anytime she sees Florida license plate
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there it is there it is I gotta not it's there I got you know I think it's funny so yeah
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that's a little bit of stuff about our podcast and us where can they follow us where can
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they support us I know you're talking about possibly setting up a patreon we don't have
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that finalized right now and this is not something that is necessary at all but if you're trying
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to support our podcast at the beginning Jay yeah you can follow us on Twitter Instagram
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we'll include the links obviously yes links down below right here links down below right
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where are we gonna put the links up we'll put them below the video I could put one like
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right there and then like right there yeah okay we those links everywhere links everywhere
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pretty much all social media that life Twitter Instagram oh we have an unnatural to some
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felt like we do perfect I don't know who created it I wonder it was me oh I was like I was
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like wait I didn't create it I was like well that's gonna be a problem yeah our our handle
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is a natural to some we got kind of lucky on the name it was not taken anywhere you
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can also follow our patreon we are hammering out the patreon details currently what we
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are looking at is for a dollar not only do you get our thanks but you also get a link
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to our feedback form where you can actually if we talk about something that you do not
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like you can kind of critique us if you want to recommend an episode or a topic you can
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do that and if you just want to generally ask us a question this doesn't guarantee that
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we are going to cover those topics or answer those questions but it kind of gives us a
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way to look at the feedback from our audience what do you like what do you not like and
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somewhat weeds out like the internet trolls right so if you want our attention so that's
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the one dollar tier we do have a discord server and so right now the first the first hundred
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people into the discord server will just kind of be locked in for life for I think that's
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reasonable that's fair yeah yeah we we want we want to kind of have discussion I would
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feel horrible for someone to pay for a discord server and there's just no one there just
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crickets so yeah what's that sound like just like that just like that can we just like
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have that on loop in the discord until people join just have like wow there really are crickets
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in here yeah so first first hundred people you're locked in for free after that probably
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five dollars a month to get into the discord server will include links down below once
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that's kind of finalized or up here over there just just click on her face just my face they'll
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have a bunch of links on it and then there we're still trying to finalize everything
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we're thinking about doing a book club that will kind of alternate between different books
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some books that we're covering and episodes and maybe have group discussions with those
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books as well.
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Y'all want me to read?
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Yes definitely.
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Jay Wheeler will personally read paragraphs to you for bedtime stories.
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I'm just kidding.
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Can you please read?
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Can you please please read?
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Although if you want that to happen dollar suggestions remember.
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Someone someone did okay someone every single time points out how they really love listening
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to my voice and they would pay for me to read them a book until they fell asleep so that's
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that's the inside joke there.
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But we do so for instance we are we're working on our first series oh yeah first research
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series William Marston there is a movie out there.
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The Wonder Women.
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Yes he's the inventor or the creator sorry the creator of Wonder Woman however he lived
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a very interesting life of being in the BDSM kind of side of things being polyamory he
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invented the lie detector he had multiple degrees from Harvard he established the disk
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theory I could go on and on.
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He was a huge supporter of female rights.
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Correct he was he was a huge supporter of female rights that actually shaped the whole
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image of Wonder Woman.
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It's a very interesting story some of you might have seen the movie that came out a
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few years ago they got some stuff right got some stuff wrong but the story itself is very
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interesting and fascinating this guy lived a hundred years ago and he did not care a
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hundred years ago he was holding press releases where he flat out said like the female race
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is going to be supreme and everyone should kind of bow down to women.
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And we're gonna dive heavily into detail about that.
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So we're gonna dive heavily in into that but with that research we are we are reading multiple
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books. That's something that I kind of want to like involve our viewers a lot more into
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so as we kind of go through and read books if you want to be involved with the the book
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club kind of get kind of more one-on-one attention with us be involved in our research have discussions
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with us about the content that we're reading you there'll be a patreon eventually there'll
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be a patreon tier for that you'll get access to a separate discord channel and yeah we'll
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go through that together.
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We'll have group discussions about what we're reading maybe even you get a sneak peek at
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what we're about to discuss or something we might be reading something and being like
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this we're gonna discuss this in a future episode go ahead and read the book and you'll
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be informed about what we're discussing and then you can put your own opinion with the
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dollar feedback be like hey I think what you're talking about was completely wrong that was
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that was not right and I mean it's it's plethora of options because we want to involve like
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we were saying before we want to involve you in our education in our education and further
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educate others as well.
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Right right.
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And also when something that I've kind of realized when researching William Marston
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is there's so much information we know we are not going to cover everything.
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So reading the book you're going to get the full the full story all the details something
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that we can't even cover in multiple episodes of a podcast.
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Yeah I was when we were talking about covering the subject I kind of you know did a Google
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search and I was like oh gosh there's a lot here there's a lot here.
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It was a little intimidating I watched the movie first got inspired started going down
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the rabbit hole it was a little intimidating because of how much there is out there on
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this guy.
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However I thought it was a great first topic.
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Oh yeah.
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And since EDSM Polly.
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And he kind of like laid out the foundation for it.
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I'm really excited to talk about it.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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And it's the first I think from what I know one of the first people in the public eye
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that everyone knew that he was in a Polly relationship of some sort.
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And it's a great starting point for.
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Well not everyone but for us.
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Unfortunately they.
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So he actually hit it.
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He hit it for a while.
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He tried to hide it.
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I believe that his his friends and co-workers kind of suspected but even the children.
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So they.
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Because he had a wife and then a girlfriend on the side.
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Even the children didn't know like who who was whose mother.
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Oh.
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Until much later in life.
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It's a we will go.
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Oh yeah.
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To it.
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It's a very it's a whole thing.
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It's a whole thing.
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But a great starting point for us especially since you know I'm kind of new to learning
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about BDSM.
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I'm.
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Yes both of us.
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Yeah I'm very for the longest time I considered myself pretty vanilla.
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So I've been getting my feet wet.
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And I I think that this was kind of a good introduction for me.
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Oh so this is what it's about.
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Oh OK.
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Got it.
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Yeah I think the.
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I think William Marsden has a lot to relate to us as far as the group.
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Yeah as a whole.
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So if you're interested in hearing about those subjects.
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We those will be coming out very soon.
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We're gonna do a series on that.
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I think we're we're planning on a few episodes on on Billy right.
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I think.
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Do you call him Billy.
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Willie Willie.
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William.
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I'll just call him.
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I mean we have it we have a few episodes we're planning on releasing with that right.
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That's gonna come out in almost like a series.
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Yes.
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It it really depends on how much dialogue back and forth we have how much discussion
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but as of right now it looks like it's gonna be two or three episodes.
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Perfect.
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Awesome.
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Very nice.
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Yeah you can take a look at those soon.
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We'll be including links to all our social media as far as a natural system goes and
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like Jay was telling you we have the Patreon tiers we're working on them at the moment.
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By the time you view this video it'll probably be established.
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Yeah yeah yeah yeah and we'll be even more professional.
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Yeah.
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Whoo.
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So professional professional.
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But thanks for joining us tonight and we'll talk to you soon about William Marston.
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Thanks for stopping by.
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Stay kinky.
