Episode 8: Shibari - and Poly - and D/s OH MY!

1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,500 Disclaimer. This podcast features explicit language and discussion of sexual nature. 2 00:00:05,500 --> 00:00:09,020 It may contain subjects uncomfortable to some. Please understand that the opinions shared 3 00:00:09,020 --> 00:00:13,500 on this podcast are not a representation of any organization or employer the host may 4 00:00:13,500 --> 00:00:16,740 be a part of. 5 00:00:16,740 --> 00:00:25,540 Are you still recording, Jay? 6 00:00:25,540 --> 00:00:27,340 I just hit record. 7 00:00:27,340 --> 00:00:35,380 All right. Yeah, this is kind of like our online like can't really make it to the studio, 8 00:00:35,380 --> 00:00:39,100 even though Nikki's in the studio version of the podcast. 9 00:00:39,100 --> 00:00:41,700 I'm in the studio. 10 00:00:41,700 --> 00:00:47,020 She's in the office. She's in our office. We're all in our offices. But yeah, I think 11 00:00:47,020 --> 00:00:52,660 the podcast has been doing pretty well. It was fun. We I think we had a pretty cool Pride 12 00:00:52,660 --> 00:00:54,900 Month. What are you guys saying? 13 00:00:54,900 --> 00:00:55,900 Yeah. 14 00:00:55,900 --> 00:01:04,300 Like we we we went to Pride Fest, went to the parade. Oh, yeah. We did the whole episode 15 00:01:04,300 --> 00:01:11,060 on pride flags and pride is over and it doesn't exist anymore until next year. Yeah, of course. 16 00:01:11,060 --> 00:01:15,660 Yeah. That's part of the reason why we've been so busy and like episodes haven't been 17 00:01:15,660 --> 00:01:21,340 coming out like weekly. And also we did some other things like. 18 00:01:21,340 --> 00:01:30,020 What was that we did? We went on a Shabari adventure. We went to a Shabari class that 19 00:01:30,020 --> 00:01:36,780 was hosted by Portland Shabari. Who is our instructor? What was his name, Jay? 20 00:01:36,780 --> 00:01:39,260 I want to say Jonathan. 21 00:01:39,260 --> 00:01:42,180 Yes, that's right. It was Jonathan Ryan. 22 00:01:42,180 --> 00:01:48,700 I'm Jonathan Ryan and I have basically I teach workshops in Seattle and my website for Seattle 23 00:01:48,700 --> 00:01:54,580 Shabari dot com. And then my partner, Saffo, and I have a full time studio in Portland, 24 00:01:54,580 --> 00:01:59,700 Portland Shabari salon. And our website for that is Portland Shabari dot com. 25 00:01:59,700 --> 00:02:04,500 Every time I hear his name when he was saying and I was thinking Jack Ryan from freaking 26 00:02:04,500 --> 00:02:11,700 the Amazon show. Yeah. What exactly does State Department supply chain logistician do? 27 00:02:11,700 --> 00:02:20,460 They work behind the death of reports that sounds boring. What is this? 28 00:02:20,460 --> 00:02:23,740 Happy holidays, Dwight. But do not open it till Christmas. 29 00:02:23,740 --> 00:02:30,260 Yeah, I can't watch that show without seeing Jim like from the office. Like, well, because 30 00:02:30,260 --> 00:02:36,260 it is Jim from the office. That's why you see that is that that's who it is. It's what 31 00:02:36,260 --> 00:02:42,580 happens whenever he like he loses Pam to a horrible accident and then he goes secret 32 00:02:42,580 --> 00:02:46,620 agent, right? Secret agent. 33 00:02:46,620 --> 00:02:51,900 Or maybe he just has like a double life and he's like on the weekends like, oh, I'm traveling 34 00:02:51,900 --> 00:02:55,980 for business, but he's actually like, assassinating people. 35 00:02:55,980 --> 00:03:03,340 Well, I don't think he's like, isn't necessarily an assassin in the show. He's more like a 36 00:03:03,340 --> 00:03:05,500 I mean, I don't know. 37 00:03:05,500 --> 00:03:09,860 He's Jack Ryan. He's more like a Jack Ryan. I'm on like the last season right now and 38 00:03:09,860 --> 00:03:11,860 he's definitely killing some people. 39 00:03:11,860 --> 00:03:19,100 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Spoiler alert. Yeah. Spoiler alert. He's killing people. 40 00:03:19,100 --> 00:03:25,460 Well, I mean, doesn't he kill people like every episode? He's he's Jack Ryan. No, he 41 00:03:25,460 --> 00:03:34,860 does love office work. And then paperwork and organizing of office supplies. There's 42 00:03:34,860 --> 00:03:42,300 a whole episode on it. There's a whole like three episodes. Yeah. Well, yeah. Jonathan 43 00:03:42,300 --> 00:03:50,900 Ryan Saffo did a great job teaching us about Shabari. I definitely went away from that 44 00:03:50,900 --> 00:03:57,460 class with knowing some things and also knowing how easy Shabari can be. 45 00:03:57,460 --> 00:04:05,180 Yeah, it's it's you see people's knots and all these like artistic ties that that you 46 00:04:05,180 --> 00:04:14,220 see on models and stuff on the Internet. And it looks complicated. But the instructor, 47 00:04:14,220 --> 00:04:19,540 you know, he was he was able to easily convey that like, look, you just learn these knots 48 00:04:19,540 --> 00:04:25,380 and learn these basic concepts and then you just have fun and then try new things. And 49 00:04:25,380 --> 00:04:33,020 he really harps on safety more than anything. Yeah. So, I mean, you do have to. Well, no, 50 00:04:33,020 --> 00:04:36,180 I'm not saying that it's not important. I'm saying that that's something you really focused 51 00:04:36,180 --> 00:04:43,700 on a lot. Yeah. So that was my fourth Shabari class. And for those those of you that are 52 00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:48,020 out there that are like, oh, I want to get into that, I highly recommend either doing 53 00:04:48,020 --> 00:04:53,580 a lot of research of your own or going to like an in-person class, because if you don't 54 00:04:53,580 --> 00:04:58,060 know what you're doing and you try just to like mimic what you're seeing on like models 55 00:04:58,060 --> 00:05:05,300 or online, you could end up with like nerve damage from nerve compression, which could 56 00:05:05,300 --> 00:05:10,340 last like a few days or it could be permanent. There's two different types of nerves that 57 00:05:10,340 --> 00:05:16,900 you have. You have sensory nerves and motor nerves. So you could either a like, for instance, 58 00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:23,540 like not having sort of feeling in your hands or be not be able to move your hands. So safety 59 00:05:23,540 --> 00:05:31,060 Yeah, safety first for sure, because it could be devastating what things could go wrong 60 00:05:31,060 --> 00:05:37,540 with just simple like rope play or even just trying to you know, make like a rope corset 61 00:05:37,540 --> 00:05:42,060 top, you know, like, like what we're we taught, we're taught how to do I don't know the exact 62 00:05:42,060 --> 00:05:48,920 was a harness a chest harness, you know, something so simple. And so harmless, it seems could 63 00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:54,420 be like devastating in the damage I can do if you're not doing it properly, which is 64 00:05:54,420 --> 00:05:59,660 one thing they really wanted. They covered that a lot, you know, they like made sure 65 00:05:59,660 --> 00:06:05,460 we heard that. Yeah, I think the the main thing that they taught us was different types 66 00:06:05,460 --> 00:06:12,860 of columns. Right? Well, you have like the column tie. Yeah. But like, there's different 67 00:06:12,860 --> 00:06:19,780 types like where you can make the column. Yeah. Like the body is just pretty much like 68 00:06:19,780 --> 00:06:28,700 made up of different columns, if you think about it. Right. Yeah. It's interesting. I 69 00:06:28,700 --> 00:06:37,340 had fun. I had more fun doing the tying and then of being tied up. That's good, because 70 00:06:37,340 --> 00:06:45,260 I liked being tied up. And my attention span wasn't as great with the being in charge of 71 00:06:45,260 --> 00:06:50,380 tying. Yeah, I could tell you're having a hard time. Like, I was like, just put it on 72 00:06:50,380 --> 00:06:56,380 top. Just put it on top on top. And then Jonathan comes by he's like, like this and he puts 73 00:06:56,380 --> 00:07:02,340 on top my wrist. I'm like, my god. Yeah, I got it figured out eventually, though. Yeah, 74 00:07:02,340 --> 00:07:09,500 we'll definitely need you there when we're doing our our Shabari photo shoot. Are you 75 00:07:09,500 --> 00:07:17,100 talking about me? Oh, that's actually something I was going to ask you, Jay. My friend, Aaron's 76 00:07:17,100 --> 00:07:23,820 going to come up and we were talking about doing like a Shabari photo shoot, like on 77 00:07:23,820 --> 00:07:32,580 the railroad, you know, for some spicy photos that, you know, the whole tied up on the railroad 78 00:07:32,580 --> 00:07:38,300 aesthetic, you know what I'm talking about? Yeah. Damsel in distress. Yeah, definitely. 79 00:07:38,300 --> 00:07:46,980 Damsel in address. Yeah. So that's something that I would obviously like have to like talk 80 00:07:46,980 --> 00:07:54,820 with like Lady L about. But because that is like something that like we do together Shabari. 81 00:07:54,820 --> 00:08:01,940 Yeah, I'll check in with her. Shabari is like one of the things that I'm super, I don't 82 00:08:01,940 --> 00:08:10,180 know, focused on. So like I've gone to four different like Shabari classes with like different 83 00:08:10,180 --> 00:08:19,100 instructors. We have like another class in like two weeks. We have tons of ropes. So 84 00:08:19,100 --> 00:08:26,540 like we have like four 10 feet pieces of rope, four 15 pieces of rope and four 30 feet pieces 85 00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:34,020 of rope. I have about like 600 feet of hemp rope that I'm currently like in the process 86 00:08:34,020 --> 00:08:40,420 of like dying and breaking in nice to make my own kind of like rope bondage slash Shabari 87 00:08:40,420 --> 00:08:47,460 rope. Yeah, that rope that you let us use for the class was actually quite nice. Yeah. 88 00:08:47,460 --> 00:08:52,700 Like I was like using it. I was like, man, I feel really I don't know why I just want 89 00:08:52,700 --> 00:09:00,540 to like stretch it out and just like freaking wrap it around her hard. What else did y'all 90 00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:11,180 enjoy about the Shabari class or classes, Jay? So for me, Shabari and I'm just going 91 00:09:11,180 --> 00:09:16,900 to like probably just like refer to as like rope bondage. But like for me, it is a chance 92 00:09:16,900 --> 00:09:26,040 to be like very intimate with my partner. So, you know, this is like there's no distractions. 93 00:09:26,040 --> 00:09:31,900 There's no like Netflix or anything like that. Yeah. You're very like close intimate and 94 00:09:31,900 --> 00:09:37,100 you're doing something that you normally don't do. But I don't know for for my partner and 95 00:09:37,100 --> 00:09:42,140 I like it is becoming so it's something that we kind of are doing like every single weekend 96 00:09:42,140 --> 00:09:48,860 because we were doing like in-person classes. And then we also have a like video on demand 97 00:09:48,860 --> 00:09:54,580 service that we pay like a monthly fee to. And then we have like 600 Shabari videos to 98 00:09:54,580 --> 00:10:02,340 follow. Wow. It's becoming more normal, but it's still something that's like very intimate 99 00:10:02,340 --> 00:10:09,420 to us. It sounds like it's becoming like part of your routine now. So it is part of our 100 00:10:09,420 --> 00:10:16,180 like DS relationship. So for instance, like I have rules to follow. And as long as I like 101 00:10:16,180 --> 00:10:21,460 following get my gold star for each day, then like the reward part is that we do Shabari 102 00:10:21,460 --> 00:10:30,980 on like Saturdays. Oh, sounds like quite a reward. Yeah. I mean, to me it is. Nice. Hey, 103 00:10:30,980 --> 00:10:36,940 we should set you up on that on that little gold. I know. I know. I'd probably get so 104 00:10:36,940 --> 00:10:45,700 much activities done. You would not get any gold stars from me. Whatever. I am. I am a 105 00:10:45,700 --> 00:10:52,060 gold star. So you say you took multiple classes. What's the thing that you found most common 106 00:10:52,060 --> 00:11:00,100 with them? I'm going to assume they all take safety very seriously. That's what I'm assuming. 107 00:11:00,100 --> 00:11:06,260 Now my question for you is that what it was or was it something else? So yes, every class 108 00:11:06,260 --> 00:11:10,940 starts with like a safety talk. Every class starts with a consent talk. That's obviously 109 00:11:10,940 --> 00:11:17,820 a very big concern. I like how in depth our last one, they went into consent because not 110 00:11:17,820 --> 00:11:27,040 everybody grasps that concept. Like not fully like they think, oh, yes means yes and no 111 00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:34,100 means no. And there's like, well, actually, there's a there's a much, you know, longer 112 00:11:34,100 --> 00:11:41,420 list of things. And I think they did a really good job of teaching that to people that might 113 00:11:41,420 --> 00:11:50,540 not grasp that on their first introduction to consent. I agree. And I also think that 114 00:11:50,540 --> 00:11:57,380 I'm not sure the classes are starting to like kind of run together. I'm not sure if it was 115 00:11:57,380 --> 00:12:02,860 that class or if it was the DS class or if it was a different Shibari class. Oh my gosh. 116 00:12:02,860 --> 00:12:06,980 But kind of like bringing up the point that like if you are in like a relationship and 117 00:12:06,980 --> 00:12:12,700 you live together just because you got consent like the night before to do like kinky play 118 00:12:12,700 --> 00:12:18,180 or like tie someone up doesn't mean that you have consent still like when you wake up in 119 00:12:18,180 --> 00:12:24,860 the morning, like you still have to go through that. Yeah. Something that so one thing that 120 00:12:24,860 --> 00:12:30,760 is very common is trying to keep it very simple. So all the classes I've taken was like, hey, 121 00:12:30,760 --> 00:12:36,020 you really only only need to learn like three knots, learn these three knots, you can do 122 00:12:36,020 --> 00:12:41,980 so much with those three knots. And then I would say something that was actually kind 123 00:12:41,980 --> 00:12:46,980 of surprising that was not a part of the class that we went to that I kind of want to actually 124 00:12:46,980 --> 00:12:53,740 cover is the other instructors, they actually said that they're against safe words when 125 00:12:53,740 --> 00:13:00,620 it comes to like rope bondage. Oh, and really interesting. So that's like a huge shock, 126 00:13:00,620 --> 00:13:04,980 that you're like, safe words. What like that's all you ever hear like, oh, what's the safe 127 00:13:04,980 --> 00:13:10,220 words? Interesting. Yeah. Is it because like, some people are like, oh, safe word, I'm never 128 00:13:10,220 --> 00:13:17,740 gonna say that. So I mean, a little bit, like go outside of your comfort zone, kind of thing, 129 00:13:17,740 --> 00:13:22,080 because I know what Shabari and rope play or whatever, from what I've been gathering 130 00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:26,540 is that you you, you can't, you don't want to push yourself out beyond those boundaries, 131 00:13:26,540 --> 00:13:34,860 that's when you can get hurt. Well, yes. I think the reason why they were trying to help, 132 00:13:34,860 --> 00:13:40,300 you know, I think the reason why they were trying to get people to stray away from using 133 00:13:40,300 --> 00:13:48,180 safe words is because that's limiting your communication. Okay, instead of just waiting 134 00:13:48,180 --> 00:13:56,260 to hear a safe word for no, or I'm uncomfortable, you should be constantly, you should be consistently 135 00:13:56,260 --> 00:14:00,900 checking in. Yeah, like you should be like, are you? Is this is this feel good? Do you 136 00:14:00,900 --> 00:14:05,220 have all the feeling in your hands still? Right. And that's, that's actually what they 137 00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:12,060 said was, you know, if I'm, if I've been like tying you up for like 10 minutes, and you're, 138 00:14:12,060 --> 00:14:16,340 you're covered in like four different pieces of rope, and you have all these knots all 139 00:14:16,340 --> 00:14:20,940 over you, and you say your safe word. So you're just like, for instance, like red. They're 140 00:14:20,940 --> 00:14:26,900 like that. I have no idea what that means. Like, if you're flogging someone and you say 141 00:14:26,900 --> 00:14:33,300 red, that's a very clear like stop. There's so many shades of red. That doesn't mean anything. 142 00:14:33,300 --> 00:14:39,060 Well, I mean, if if reds you're safe for it. 143 00:14:39,060 --> 00:14:46,020 Could be like, you say your safe word. But in reality, you need those ropes cut off immediately 144 00:14:46,020 --> 00:14:52,420 because you're like, right, I can't even I can barely stand reds. There's like pink. 145 00:14:52,420 --> 00:15:00,100 There's a whole spectrum of danger maroon that can be burgundy. Oh my god, I just watched 146 00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:04,940 Breaking Bad and I literally said the word danger and all I can hear. All I can think 147 00:15:04,940 --> 00:15:11,660 of is I am not in danger. Skyler. I am the danger. A guy opens his door and gets shot 148 00:15:11,660 --> 00:15:17,900 and you think that of me. No, I am the one who knocks. But I mean, like the whole the 149 00:15:17,900 --> 00:15:23,420 whole thing is that you're supposed to have an open line of communication. And when stuff 150 00:15:23,420 --> 00:15:28,420 starts, for instance, like when you start feeling like numbness in like your hands or 151 00:15:28,420 --> 00:15:33,760 something, your your top as long as they're knowledgeable, they can they can do a few 152 00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:40,820 things to try to like, correct that, for instance, like moving the rope around. But when you 153 00:15:40,820 --> 00:15:48,980 say like, oh, I'm like, that's it. Like, I'm done. That's kind of extreme now. Why? That's 154 00:15:48,980 --> 00:15:55,820 I need to like, get the scissors and start cutting you out. And then also, yeah, I mean, 155 00:15:55,820 --> 00:16:02,060 if you're saying a safe word, and like a rope scene, then to me, that means like you've 156 00:16:02,060 --> 00:16:06,220 probably already have some sort of like nerve damage. And that's very bad. That could have 157 00:16:06,220 --> 00:16:11,580 been pervert like prevented. If you would have like, had an open line of communication 158 00:16:11,580 --> 00:16:15,620 and be like, hey, and there's also like, there's a lot of stuff. So there's, I think there's 159 00:16:15,620 --> 00:16:20,580 a misconception for people that don't do rope bondage that like the bottom doesn't do anything. 160 00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:24,620 They don't say anything, they sit there and they get tied up. But that's not the case. 161 00:16:24,620 --> 00:16:30,180 Like you as a rope bottom, you have to kind of like keep yourself like, okay, like I can 162 00:16:30,180 --> 00:16:36,060 do these movements with my hands, like kind of aware of your body, have that open dialogue. 163 00:16:36,060 --> 00:16:41,620 And that's also something that I've noticed that the Seattle erotic art festival was, 164 00:16:41,620 --> 00:16:46,660 I watched people's practice and then I watched their performance. And in practice, they were 165 00:16:46,660 --> 00:16:53,300 very much like, oh, like that rope is riding up on me. Maybe move it down a little bit. 166 00:16:53,300 --> 00:16:58,140 No, I don't like that. Okay, well, like, let me do a different tie. And then when it came 167 00:16:58,140 --> 00:17:03,580 to the performance, everything went like, very, very quickly and very smoothly. But 168 00:17:03,580 --> 00:17:09,780 and I know I'm like just like going on a huge tangent. Yeah. But and that's the difference 169 00:17:09,780 --> 00:17:14,500 also between practice and a scene. So you should, you should always try to like do as 170 00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:19,660 much practice as you can before you have a scene with somebody so that you kind of learn 171 00:17:19,660 --> 00:17:23,940 each other, learn each other's limits and kind of practice your ties, practice your 172 00:17:23,940 --> 00:17:29,420 knots. If you're a bottom and you're wanting to get into Shabari and role play, practicing 173 00:17:29,420 --> 00:17:35,180 and playing with a top that is new is okay, as long as they know that they're new. So 174 00:17:35,180 --> 00:17:40,020 knowing like your top knowing that there's still a lot for them to learn. And now being 175 00:17:40,020 --> 00:17:46,500 like the super confident cocky like, oh, you're fine. Like, don't worry about it. Yeah. Yeah. 176 00:17:46,500 --> 00:17:51,180 And going going back to like, say for it's maybe in like, when you're specifically doing 177 00:17:51,180 --> 00:17:58,820 like rope bondage, role play, Shabari, what have you, you're doing more of a like, stop, 178 00:17:58,820 --> 00:18:03,980 I need to be cut outward, like, like, get the scissors out. Like, that's the word you 179 00:18:03,980 --> 00:18:09,700 use for whenever you need to be cut out of the ropes, Ruby. And that's the only time 180 00:18:09,700 --> 00:18:15,940 you use that. And otherwise, you're just, you're making sure you're like you said, communication, 181 00:18:15,940 --> 00:18:20,900 I think that that's pretty much key with any kind of play, honestly, whether it be role 182 00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:29,580 play bondage, you know, having normal sex, you know, just a foreplay, like edge communication 183 00:18:29,580 --> 00:18:34,180 is really important because people are all different. Everyone likes different things. 184 00:18:34,180 --> 00:18:39,460 People don't like certain things. And it's really it's, it's not embarrassing to ask. 185 00:18:39,460 --> 00:18:50,820 I think in my personal opinion, it's not embarrassing to ask. Right. Crimson. What? Pink. This shade 186 00:18:50,820 --> 00:18:58,460 of red. Technically. What is it? What was the shade? What was the color called? Pink. 187 00:18:58,460 --> 00:19:07,860 Oh, crimson. Oh, crimson crimson. Ruby. Yeah. But not but not Ruby from the fifth element. 188 00:19:07,860 --> 00:19:18,100 That's the river. We actually got some footage from that Shabari class is how do I start 189 00:19:18,100 --> 00:19:24,000 making we call bands around the body. We were able to capture we we asked the instructors 190 00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:28,420 and they said they didn't have a problem with us shooting, you know, as long as we didn't 191 00:19:28,420 --> 00:19:34,180 give away too much of their class. And we actually got to sit down with Jonathan Ryan. 192 00:19:34,180 --> 00:19:40,340 So y'all came to our Shabari 101 class, which is our sort of introduction to the fundamentals 193 00:19:40,340 --> 00:19:46,960 of Japanese style rope bondage. He told us a little bit about his thoughts on Shabari. 194 00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:52,220 So for me, more than anything else, I mean, she already checks a number of boxes for me. 195 00:19:52,220 --> 00:19:57,060 The first is that and the most important I think for me is that I think of rope and I 196 00:19:57,060 --> 00:20:01,300 think I'm sort of alone in this. I think of rope is sort of a powerful form of communication 197 00:20:01,300 --> 00:20:06,700 between two people. So by, you know, using pressure and proximity, breath and rhythm 198 00:20:06,700 --> 00:20:10,980 and touch and those kinds of things, ropes are a really powerful way of connecting with 199 00:20:10,980 --> 00:20:14,820 another human being in a way that doesn't necessarily have to be sexual. 200 00:20:14,820 --> 00:20:23,380 His past experiences, what he enjoys about teaching other people the art and he had a 201 00:20:23,380 --> 00:20:24,380 lot to say. 202 00:20:24,380 --> 00:20:32,020 I talked about the style itself and kind of like the origins of it and just like briefly 203 00:20:32,020 --> 00:20:39,060 and then kind of like what he does in his own in his classes and out of Portland and 204 00:20:39,060 --> 00:20:46,460 just mostly is his background with Shabari and his because he does shows. 205 00:20:46,460 --> 00:20:47,460 Right. 206 00:20:47,460 --> 00:20:49,620 His actual like Shabari shows. 207 00:20:49,620 --> 00:20:54,020 Yeah, he kept talking about how he was a attention whore. 208 00:20:54,020 --> 00:20:55,020 Yeah. 209 00:20:55,020 --> 00:20:57,740 Apparently, he's an attention whore. 210 00:20:57,740 --> 00:21:03,220 Yeah, that's not the only thing we did this weekend, Jay. We went to, I know we told you 211 00:21:03,220 --> 00:21:07,180 about it, but we went to a polyamorous field day. 212 00:21:07,180 --> 00:21:08,180 Yeah. 213 00:21:08,180 --> 00:21:10,780 Which was kind of interesting. 214 00:21:10,780 --> 00:21:11,780 It was interesting. 215 00:21:11,780 --> 00:21:16,020 There was a lot of fun people there and we were all just hanging out. 216 00:21:16,020 --> 00:21:17,020 Yeah. 217 00:21:17,020 --> 00:21:20,140 You know, they had some games that we could play with everybody. 218 00:21:20,140 --> 00:21:23,980 Believe it or not, we weren't all just hooking up in some field. 219 00:21:23,980 --> 00:21:27,860 You know, like people would assume a polyamory group is doing. 220 00:21:27,860 --> 00:21:30,460 All I saw was people fucking everywhere. 221 00:21:30,460 --> 00:21:32,340 Oh, yeah. 222 00:21:32,340 --> 00:21:37,860 Everybody was playing their little kissing games. 223 00:21:37,860 --> 00:21:42,960 They had some like, they had like group coloring at table so you could sit down and like color 224 00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:45,820 and chill and chat with new people. 225 00:21:45,820 --> 00:21:46,820 Yeah, it was. 226 00:21:46,820 --> 00:21:49,060 It was pretty cool. 227 00:21:49,060 --> 00:21:53,380 They, we, I talked to those people when we sat down. 228 00:21:53,380 --> 00:21:57,820 Initially, we got invited over to a table that was kind of like empty and they were 229 00:21:57,820 --> 00:22:04,660 coloring Star Wars coloring stuff and I was coloring Grogu and talking to them about the 230 00:22:04,660 --> 00:22:07,540 original polyamorous flag. 231 00:22:07,540 --> 00:22:13,260 You know, the one we talked about and we joked about the Pison. 232 00:22:13,260 --> 00:22:19,780 Yeah, we noticed we noticed the flag there was not one that we covered in our our flag 233 00:22:19,780 --> 00:22:20,780 episode. 234 00:22:20,780 --> 00:22:22,900 There is a new polyamorous flag, though. 235 00:22:22,900 --> 00:22:24,820 I've read about it. 236 00:22:24,820 --> 00:22:33,540 They recently and I mean recently, the community as a whole voted on a new flag because we 237 00:22:33,540 --> 00:22:40,660 were stuck with I think the one before that was literally the pie flag with a big yellow 238 00:22:40,660 --> 00:22:42,180 pie symbol. 239 00:22:42,180 --> 00:22:49,780 Hi, which, you know, we know the reason why behind it because, you know, pride, the pride 240 00:22:49,780 --> 00:22:52,900 flag episode, but right. 241 00:22:52,900 --> 00:22:53,900 It was just cool. 242 00:22:53,900 --> 00:22:54,900 Cool. 243 00:22:54,900 --> 00:22:59,380 Seeing that and seeing a bunch of friendly faces, seeing people talk to strangers for 244 00:22:59,380 --> 00:23:03,700 the first time, getting to know each other, doing arts and crafts, doing stupid field 245 00:23:03,700 --> 00:23:06,700 day activities. 246 00:23:06,700 --> 00:23:08,140 It wasn't stupid. 247 00:23:08,140 --> 00:23:16,300 OK, I haven't done field day activities like that forever, so it's kind of stupid. 248 00:23:16,300 --> 00:23:18,260 You should have been there. 249 00:23:18,260 --> 00:23:19,260 You should have been there, Jay. 250 00:23:19,260 --> 00:23:21,060 It would have been fun. 251 00:23:21,060 --> 00:23:22,060 Next time. 252 00:23:22,060 --> 00:23:31,940 So I was I was not there because I was in Seattle attending a DS class hosted by Miss 253 00:23:31,940 --> 00:23:34,860 Magpie and Return Falls. 254 00:23:34,860 --> 00:23:42,140 So DS, that would be so we have the Game Boy Advance SP. 255 00:23:42,140 --> 00:23:43,820 Oh, no. 256 00:23:43,820 --> 00:23:46,100 After that was the Game Boy DS. 257 00:23:46,100 --> 00:23:47,100 Right. 258 00:23:47,100 --> 00:23:48,700 I saw the switch. 259 00:23:48,700 --> 00:23:53,300 It's I just I have the the one that you plug into the TV. 260 00:23:53,300 --> 00:23:54,940 It's you know, the Game Boy. 261 00:23:54,940 --> 00:23:59,620 And then you plug it into your little TV doc and then you're in. 262 00:23:59,620 --> 00:24:03,020 It turns your TV into a Game Boy now. 263 00:24:03,020 --> 00:24:07,540 So now I have a big screen Game Boy in in my living room. 264 00:24:07,540 --> 00:24:08,540 No. 265 00:24:08,540 --> 00:24:09,540 Oh, gosh. 266 00:24:09,540 --> 00:24:10,540 Oh, wait. 267 00:24:10,540 --> 00:24:14,460 So you mean like a drill sergeant? 268 00:24:14,460 --> 00:24:17,860 No, no, no. 269 00:24:17,860 --> 00:24:24,860 So tell me why you missed our awesome polyamorous field day. 270 00:24:24,860 --> 00:24:28,380 Because I went to an awesome and DS class. 271 00:24:28,380 --> 00:24:37,740 DS is Dom sub, which DS is a it's a. 272 00:24:37,740 --> 00:24:41,340 I'm going to say like it's a relationship style that you can have. 273 00:24:41,340 --> 00:24:46,020 It doesn't have to be like romantic or sexual or anything like that. 274 00:24:46,020 --> 00:24:47,340 But you can have a DS. 275 00:24:47,340 --> 00:24:48,340 You can have an MS. 276 00:24:48,340 --> 00:24:51,540 MS is a master slave. 277 00:24:51,540 --> 00:24:55,020 And you can have a lot of different categories within that. 278 00:24:55,020 --> 00:25:02,500 So a lot of times you'll hear people say like 24 seven DS, which means like there's no break. 279 00:25:02,500 --> 00:25:04,700 Like it's not kind of role play to them. 280 00:25:04,700 --> 00:25:08,220 It is 24 hours of the day, seven days a week. 281 00:25:08,220 --> 00:25:10,980 Oh, I've actually met a couple like that. 282 00:25:10,980 --> 00:25:13,540 But yeah, it was it was a really great class. 283 00:25:13,540 --> 00:25:18,620 I think I'm going to like cover cover some of the topics and like a separate episode 284 00:25:18,620 --> 00:25:19,620 with myself. 285 00:25:19,620 --> 00:25:24,380 But basically, I mean, I don't know, like what kind of what kind of questions do you 286 00:25:24,380 --> 00:25:25,700 guys have about DS? 287 00:25:25,700 --> 00:25:32,860 Because that's something that I do like practice with with my. 288 00:25:32,860 --> 00:25:36,100 Her first, but I have a really important question after my hands up. 289 00:25:36,100 --> 00:25:37,100 OK, Nikki. 290 00:25:37,100 --> 00:25:38,100 All right. 291 00:25:38,100 --> 00:25:42,500 So how does your wife feel about all of that? 292 00:25:42,500 --> 00:25:47,580 So my wife is my dog, like my D, my owner, my D. 293 00:25:47,580 --> 00:25:48,580 Right. 294 00:25:48,580 --> 00:25:55,740 But with your with your now DS relationship, like how does she like? 295 00:25:55,740 --> 00:25:58,640 How does she feel about that? 296 00:25:58,640 --> 00:26:05,700 So we we've had a DS relationship for a while, like we had a contract that we kind of established 297 00:26:05,700 --> 00:26:09,260 about a year ago. 298 00:26:09,260 --> 00:26:13,180 And that's like that's one thing about like DS relationships or just like BDSM or Kink 299 00:26:13,180 --> 00:26:17,820 and in general is that it's not like the journey that you get there. 300 00:26:17,820 --> 00:26:21,340 It's not really about like, you know, oh, I want this like now. 301 00:26:21,340 --> 00:26:26,300 It's more about like the journey of two people kind of evolving over time. 302 00:26:26,300 --> 00:26:32,440 So we we took the the DS class on Sunday. 303 00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:38,580 So now this week we are like kind of in open negotiations for our contract. 304 00:26:38,580 --> 00:26:43,980 We're taking like the things that we learned and kind of modifying our contract a lot to 305 00:26:43,980 --> 00:26:48,940 answer your question of how Lady L feels about that. 306 00:26:48,940 --> 00:26:51,140 Yeah, she's very excited. 307 00:26:51,140 --> 00:26:55,020 So she took notes during the class. 308 00:26:55,020 --> 00:26:56,260 Lady L. 309 00:26:56,260 --> 00:26:59,540 Lady L. 310 00:26:59,540 --> 00:27:04,780 As soon as we stepped out of the class, I got like a message and it was like just bullet 311 00:27:04,780 --> 00:27:11,380 points of like things that she wanted to talk about specifically to the like our DS relationship. 312 00:27:11,380 --> 00:27:17,660 So for instance, you know, punishment and reward structure. 313 00:27:17,660 --> 00:27:18,860 Wow. 314 00:27:18,860 --> 00:27:19,860 Stuff like that. 315 00:27:19,860 --> 00:27:21,300 Oh my God. 316 00:27:21,300 --> 00:27:26,780 It's crazy because I like literally when you first got here and you talked about that, 317 00:27:26,780 --> 00:27:32,700 it's it's it's you talk about like the changes and progression in your relationship. 318 00:27:32,700 --> 00:27:38,220 I've seen it like I can I can say both of you were nervous about partaking in any of 319 00:27:38,220 --> 00:27:41,100 this, especially Lady Alice. 320 00:27:41,100 --> 00:27:43,460 We're calling her or I don't know. 321 00:27:43,460 --> 00:27:44,460 Is that yeah. 322 00:27:44,460 --> 00:27:45,460 Is that your name for her? 323 00:27:45,460 --> 00:27:46,460 Yeah. 324 00:27:46,460 --> 00:27:52,420 And you know, I just I it's blossoming into something beautiful and it's great. 325 00:27:52,420 --> 00:27:58,180 Also my question was, was it Metroid Prime, the first person shooter, the first one to 326 00:27:58,180 --> 00:28:01,100 come out for the DS back in the. 327 00:28:01,100 --> 00:28:04,220 I think that sounds right. 328 00:28:04,220 --> 00:28:11,020 I'm just saying I had that game and it had you use the fucking like little stylus as 329 00:28:11,020 --> 00:28:13,500 an aimer and it was trash. 330 00:28:13,500 --> 00:28:15,300 Just letting you know is really bad. 331 00:28:15,300 --> 00:28:18,260 I mostly just played Pokemon on mine. 332 00:28:18,260 --> 00:28:19,260 Real question, though. 333 00:28:19,260 --> 00:28:20,820 Real question, though. 334 00:28:20,820 --> 00:28:24,060 So you said there's MSDS and stuff like that. 335 00:28:24,060 --> 00:28:29,640 Are you going to cover more of these dynamics in your little discussion that you're going 336 00:28:29,640 --> 00:28:31,620 to have with our audience? 337 00:28:31,620 --> 00:28:32,620 Yes. 338 00:28:32,620 --> 00:28:34,740 So I do plan. 339 00:28:34,740 --> 00:28:39,260 So something that we've talked on this podcast about is us breaking off and doing some of 340 00:28:39,260 --> 00:28:41,340 our own videos like one on one. 341 00:28:41,340 --> 00:28:46,620 So like, for instance, like Nikki and Jenny, like kind of having an episode where system 342 00:28:46,620 --> 00:28:54,720 talking about like polyamory, them talking about, you know, their their story about transitioning 343 00:28:54,720 --> 00:28:56,340 and stuff like that. 344 00:28:56,340 --> 00:29:00,940 And then like me just having kind of like deep dives into like what I'm learning about 345 00:29:00,940 --> 00:29:06,060 like kink BDSM and all of the above. 346 00:29:06,060 --> 00:29:09,180 So yeah, yeah, it's good. 347 00:29:09,180 --> 00:29:10,260 I think it's going to be good. 348 00:29:10,260 --> 00:29:11,420 I do. 349 00:29:11,420 --> 00:29:15,900 I do plan on like having having an episode. 350 00:29:15,900 --> 00:29:22,780 It's really kind of hard because when you talk about like, I mean, just in general, 351 00:29:22,780 --> 00:29:30,580 system kink DSM, it really means something different to everyone because, for instance, 352 00:29:30,580 --> 00:29:38,060 like us, we we look at the things that we want to achieve, like our goals. 353 00:29:38,060 --> 00:29:41,180 And so, like, for instance, like me, I'm I'm a sub. 354 00:29:41,180 --> 00:29:44,220 I have certain goals that I want to achieve. 355 00:29:44,220 --> 00:29:46,940 Yeah, that makes sense. 356 00:29:46,940 --> 00:29:53,620 And our relationship is kind of built around like pretty much holding me accountable to 357 00:29:53,620 --> 00:29:54,820 achieve those goals. 358 00:29:54,820 --> 00:30:01,500 So I'm studying for a cert through for like work. 359 00:30:01,500 --> 00:30:02,780 That's very important. 360 00:30:02,780 --> 00:30:09,420 However, I can often get like caught up in like podcasts and video games and a lot of 361 00:30:09,420 --> 00:30:10,420 other things. 362 00:30:10,420 --> 00:30:11,420 What? 363 00:30:11,420 --> 00:30:12,420 No, no. 364 00:30:12,420 --> 00:30:13,420 What are you talking about? 365 00:30:13,420 --> 00:30:16,420 Wait, we have a podcast? 366 00:30:16,420 --> 00:30:18,540 Yes, we do. 367 00:30:18,540 --> 00:30:19,540 Wow. 368 00:30:19,540 --> 00:30:21,380 I should really watch it sometime. 369 00:30:21,380 --> 00:30:22,380 You should. 370 00:30:22,380 --> 00:30:23,380 You should check it out. 371 00:30:23,380 --> 00:30:25,860 Definitely check out our website, unnaturalism.com. 372 00:30:25,860 --> 00:30:26,860 All of you. 373 00:30:26,860 --> 00:30:28,860 Every single one of you. 374 00:30:28,860 --> 00:30:29,860 Pretty please. 375 00:30:29,860 --> 00:30:33,900 But but yeah, she basically like holds me accountable. 376 00:30:33,900 --> 00:30:39,020 And I think that's like the beautiful thing about like DS is that when you have like two 377 00:30:39,020 --> 00:30:44,140 people like striving to like become better and like help each other like meet their goals 378 00:30:44,140 --> 00:30:46,940 and stuff like that, I think I think that's really great. 379 00:30:46,940 --> 00:30:52,780 I think just in society in general, a lot of people don't understand that kind of relationship 380 00:30:52,780 --> 00:30:53,780 structure. 381 00:30:53,780 --> 00:31:01,260 So they you know, you'll hear a lot of like stories like Army Hammer, that guy and 50 382 00:31:01,260 --> 00:31:04,380 shades of gray and stuff like that. 383 00:31:04,380 --> 00:31:07,620 We have to bring his name up at least once. 384 00:31:07,620 --> 00:31:09,820 Once every episode we get one. 385 00:31:09,820 --> 00:31:11,980 No, we have not brought him up in a while. 386 00:31:11,980 --> 00:31:12,980 That's fair. 387 00:31:12,980 --> 00:31:13,980 We have not. 388 00:31:13,980 --> 00:31:15,100 We have not brought him up in a while. 389 00:31:15,100 --> 00:31:22,540 And and he's a prime example of like what what not to do can go wrong with not knowing 390 00:31:22,540 --> 00:31:24,500 about safe play. 391 00:31:24,500 --> 00:31:31,180 Oh, it's he did something he didn't know he he chooses not to his partners didn't know. 392 00:31:31,180 --> 00:31:32,180 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 393 00:31:32,180 --> 00:31:33,180 Didn't know anything. 394 00:31:33,180 --> 00:31:36,460 They're new to they're mostly new to BDSM and all that stuff. 395 00:31:36,460 --> 00:31:38,940 And he just abused that. 396 00:31:38,940 --> 00:31:44,440 And that's why like these classes are great, because they encourage safe play. 397 00:31:44,440 --> 00:31:46,100 They encourage consent. 398 00:31:46,100 --> 00:31:49,100 They encourage being safe. 399 00:31:49,100 --> 00:31:56,660 And that's a wonderful thing, because sex should be sexy, but it also should be safe. 400 00:31:56,660 --> 00:31:59,540 Yeah, definitely. 401 00:31:59,540 --> 00:32:02,660 Jenny only feels sexy when she's safe. 402 00:32:02,660 --> 00:32:03,660 Yeah. 403 00:32:03,660 --> 00:32:06,060 And also, yeah. 404 00:32:06,060 --> 00:32:08,500 See I feel sexy when I'm not safe, though. 405 00:32:08,500 --> 00:32:14,060 And about that fear factor, you know, we got to figure out we got to figure out our situation, 406 00:32:14,060 --> 00:32:16,740 babe, our MSDS situation. 407 00:32:16,740 --> 00:32:23,940 I think you're more like a Gameboy color and I'm more like a GameCube. 408 00:32:23,940 --> 00:32:28,100 Oh, like the the RE four. 409 00:32:28,100 --> 00:32:32,740 Yeah, I spent so much time on that GameCube. 410 00:32:32,740 --> 00:32:33,740 Oh, boy. 411 00:32:33,740 --> 00:32:34,740 Yeah. 412 00:32:34,740 --> 00:32:35,740 Oh, boy. 413 00:32:35,740 --> 00:32:41,340 Well, that's kind of what we've been up to, because I know everyone's probably been wondering. 414 00:32:41,340 --> 00:32:44,900 We've been less active in discord. 415 00:32:44,900 --> 00:32:50,380 We haven't been posting as much reels, photos and stuff. 416 00:32:50,380 --> 00:32:54,620 We've been really busy actually collecting content for the podcast. 417 00:32:54,620 --> 00:32:55,620 Oh, yeah. 418 00:32:55,620 --> 00:32:56,620 Oh, my goodness. 419 00:32:56,620 --> 00:32:57,620 That and family visiting. 420 00:32:57,620 --> 00:32:58,620 Yeah. 421 00:32:58,620 --> 00:32:59,620 Yeah. 422 00:32:59,620 --> 00:33:02,460 For us, family, we had family visit and then I got sick. 423 00:33:02,460 --> 00:33:07,420 Our mom flew out here to come hang out with us and spend time. 424 00:33:07,420 --> 00:33:09,860 And oh, my gosh, she made so much food. 425 00:33:09,860 --> 00:33:12,580 Oh, so much food. 426 00:33:12,580 --> 00:33:14,060 I will miss her cooking. 427 00:33:14,060 --> 00:33:15,740 It's delicious. 428 00:33:15,740 --> 00:33:17,460 Your cooking is great, babe. 429 00:33:17,460 --> 00:33:19,300 But I love my mom's cooking. 430 00:33:19,300 --> 00:33:20,300 Whatever. 431 00:33:20,300 --> 00:33:22,620 She's just she's got a special place in my heart. 432 00:33:22,620 --> 00:33:25,860 She knows she knows not saying you don't know what you're doing. 433 00:33:25,860 --> 00:33:31,460 Just my mom, she's got a little, little something she puts in there and her potatoes. 434 00:33:31,460 --> 00:33:33,500 So that's what we've been up to. 435 00:33:33,500 --> 00:33:36,660 I know you miss us. 436 00:33:36,660 --> 00:33:41,060 Also please check out our website, unnatural to some dot com. 437 00:33:41,060 --> 00:33:43,420 You can find all of our stuff. 438 00:33:43,420 --> 00:33:50,020 There are the pot, the links to all of our social media on our podcasts where the podcast 439 00:33:50,020 --> 00:33:51,020 is uploaded. 440 00:33:51,020 --> 00:33:57,180 The YouTube videos also, Jenny and Nicky's like personal accounts is linked. 441 00:33:57,180 --> 00:34:07,540 So little secret, if you follow the website, you will get a sneak peek of every single 442 00:34:07,540 --> 00:34:11,020 YouTube video before anyone else does. 443 00:34:11,020 --> 00:34:13,780 Oh, snap. 444 00:34:13,780 --> 00:34:21,940 And the reason is, I will just say very quickly is when I upload the video, there's still 445 00:34:21,940 --> 00:34:24,020 a lot of stuff that I have to do. 446 00:34:24,020 --> 00:34:29,900 So like the timestamps, the subtitles, I have to wait for the video to process that is saved 447 00:34:29,900 --> 00:34:32,700 as a private video. 448 00:34:32,700 --> 00:34:35,820 Only people with that link can view that video. 449 00:34:35,820 --> 00:34:41,540 Our website uses that link automatically, so it will upload to the website and you'll 450 00:34:41,540 --> 00:34:43,300 get a sneak peek. 451 00:34:43,300 --> 00:34:49,180 Maybe I can't promise anything, but maybe a few hours before the actual video drops, 452 00:34:49,180 --> 00:34:51,500 you'll get to see it before anyone else does. 453 00:34:51,500 --> 00:34:56,460 So make sure to go check out on naturalsum.com for that sneak peek. 454 00:34:56,460 --> 00:34:57,460 Sneak peek. 455 00:34:57,460 --> 00:34:58,460 Yeah. 456 00:34:58,460 --> 00:35:04,660 Also, don't forget to buy us a coffee on Ko-fi because some of us have student loans to pay 457 00:35:04,660 --> 00:35:05,660 back. 458 00:35:05,660 --> 00:35:08,660 It's Jay Wheeler, Staking. 459 00:35:08,660 --> 00:35:10,660 Some of us are just thirsty. 460 00:35:10,660 --> 00:35:12,940 Thirsty, thirsty girls. 461 00:35:12,940 --> 00:35:15,340 I'm Nicky Sapphire. 462 00:35:15,340 --> 00:35:18,220 Thanks for hanging out with us. 463 00:35:18,220 --> 00:35:19,220 Until next time. 464 00:35:19,220 --> 00:35:22,860 It's your girl Jenny Baines and I'm signing off. 465 00:35:22,860 --> 00:35:24,340 See ya. 466 00:35:24,340 --> 00:35:25,340 Bye. 467 00:35:25,340 --> 00:35:52,340 Alright, we're done.